Shozes and Bjijina


The problem with me is the wedding. I mean, not quite yet, but the pre-wedding. Or rather, the desire to prepare for pre-engagement.

I am Shozes. My name is Shozes and I am Shozes. Sometimes I get mistaken for Moses, but Moses lives on the third floor, and I’m the ground floor—Shozes. A lot of women knock on my door, I open it, they ask for Moses, I say, “Moses, third floor,” and in my heart I say, “When will it be for Shozes?” And now finally, there was a woman who came for Moses, and half an hour later Moses threw her out or she got tired of him, and she said to herself, “Why not? On my way down I’ll give Shozes a shot for once.” And so now there’s a woman, and I have to begin preparations for the effort, and with a little sweat she will belong to Shozes, she’ll be Mrs. Shozes, there’ll be a Shozes Jr., too, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, there’s still a lot of work to do, this very night to a dance club with her, she’s at the stage where she’s still considering, she has to put a lot of thought into whether she wants Shozes instead of Moses, it’s not a simple replacement, not an easy thing, from third floor – Moses, to ground floor – Shozes, and the rhyme doesn’t help at all, on the contrary, she says Shozes and it makes her think of Moses, and then come the tears: is she missing Moses, or regretting Shozes?

Translated by: Jessica Cohen

Premiere: 2012
Directed by: Irina Gorelik
Theatre: Mikro Theatre
Number of characters: 9
Subjects: Love, Sex

Premiered in May 2012 at the Micro Theatre, Jerusalem, directed by Irina Gorelik. With Ilan Hazan as Shozes and Olga Katayeva as Bjijina.